There are some columns I write because I want to, and there are some I write because I feel the need. Then occasionally I write one because my snarky editor feels the need to take me down a peg or three.
Let’s talk about manopause.
It is officially known as andropause or male menopause, generally brought on by “a decrease in testosterone colliding head-on with the cultural pressure men feel every day to be a man—to be strong, to be powerful, to be invulnerable,” according to a book called “Manopause: Your Guide to Surviving His Changing Life,” which is written by two women.
I don’t have low T. I know, because my wife had me tested. But they say this “condition” makes men cranky and irritable. Not me. I’ve always been a bit of a curmudgeon. Other symptoms are a loss of strength and muscle tone. I don’t have that either. It’s just that they’re using a special new glue on pickle jars that makes them much more difficult to open.
So what if I’m losing my hair? One less thing I have to mess with in the morning. Plus, what’s gone from my head has sprouted on my back, which keeps people off of it. And I’m glad I have an extra pound or two of padding, especially given this crazy winter.
Growing older has its advantages. I get discounts on nearly everything, I occasionally get helped across the street, and even dogs seem to be nicer to me.
Embrace the change, I say.
If manopause is a thing, I’d prefer a less emasculating term. How about senior seasoning. Take it or leave it, I say, just stay off my damn lawn and don’t ask me to open your pickle jar.