My Perfect Restaurant

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I love the idea of owning a restaurant, but it stops there. Having toiled as a waiter and owner of a small catering business in my youth, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t pull it off. But hey, fantasy is free. So here’s my concept for the perfect eatery.

A friendly staff is key, so my staff would have to be meticulously trained or at least heavily medicated to deal with the wide array of personalities and quirks of the picky public.

No matter the theme of my eatery, I’d always serve freshly made chips and salsa and they would be endless. I’m not a bread guy and I’m usually hangry when I sit down to dine. Nothing better than chips and salsa! Come to think of it, I might just medicate the salsa too.

Atmosphere is important, so I’d play Motown on the sound system. Lots of Gladys Knight and Smokey and the Four Tops. That’s some good eatin’ music. And not too loud either. Menus would be in large print. I like the idea of drawing on the table cloth, so every table would get crayons.

Sure, I’d have healthy items, but not too many… you’re eating out, for cripe’s sake. I’d always offer croutons on the side of salads because I hate croutons and always forget to delete them from my order. No iceberg lettuce. Rabbits don’t even like iceberg. Mashed potatoes would be thick and lumpy ‘cause that’s how my mommy made them.

Breakfast would be served at all hours and we’d be open early and late. Everybody loves breakfast and even picky kids will eat pancakes and probably scrambled eggs. I want to welcome kids. If you offer the crayons and pancakes, they won’t disrupt other customers.

Most importantly, I’d hire a really nice grandma to greet everyone. I might even put another grandma in the kitchen. If you sent back your food, you’d have to deal with grandma. It goes without saying that you’d get dessert only if you were in the clean-plate club!


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Small businesses are the lifeblood of our country and even more so this community. Supporting local businesses during this crisis can help keep our community economically viable. Please strongly consider supporting the businesses below, In&Out Magazine's display advertisers, as well as those in the Classifieds section of the magazine (see the full April 9 issue in PDF form). Many of these businesses have been part of the fabric of this community for two decades, not just serving our professional, service and retail needs but stepping up to support local charities, sports teams and so much more. Tip: If you know you’ll need to schedule a service, consider contacting a local business you trust and paying the standard fee for the deferred service. The links below go to their web sites.

Adult & Pediatric Allergy Associates • 602-242-4592
Anthem Senior Living • 602-909-9550
Appliance Pros • 502-501-5501
Business Network of Anthem • 623-455-9630
Carroll Law Firm • 623-551-9366
Century 21 Real Estate - Jeff Huff • 623-223-1221
Creative Home Enhancements • 623-551-5409
Daisy Dream Homes Real Estate • 623-879-3277
Daisy Mountain Dentistry • 623-551-5250
Desert Foothills Air Conditioning • 480-595-0938
Edward Jones • 623-551-0523
Element Dental Centers • 623-551-5555
Hand & Stone Massage • 623-551-6602
Kendallwood Design • 602-252-3844
Kodiak Roofing • 602-501-7717
Luv My PC • 480-703-6609
Merrill Gardens • 623-201-4881
North Valley Water Solutions • 623-551-0515
Preferred Business of Anthem • 623-551-0523 
Prickett Realty • 623-551-8111
ProSkill Services • 623-551-7473
RE/MAX Professionals - Mike Higgins • 623-640-7502
Rise Above Remodeling • 623-551-2013
Soft Water Plus • 623-551-7383
SonoranScapes Landscaping • 602-842-9948
State Farm Insurance - Justin Simons • 623-551-3700
Storage at Anthem • 623-226-8634
Sunset Cabinets • 623-687-6579
Thompson & McGinnis Attorneys at Law • 602-952-2666
Titan Tree Care • 623-444-8448
Titan Pest Control • 623-879-8700
Wyman Plumbing & Mechanical • 623-551-6688

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Chris Prickett
Former contractor, former home inspector and funny guy, Chris Prickett is owner and designated broker of Prickett Realty. A New Jersey native, Prickett has been a top-producing REALTOR® in North Phoenix over the past decade. He has been a columnist since 2005. Over the Prickett Fence is published weekly by In&Out Publications.
Chris Prickett on Email

Chris Prickett

Former contractor, former home inspector and funny guy, Chris Prickett is owner and designated broker of Prickett Realty. A New Jersey native, Prickett has been a top-producing REALTOR® in North Phoenix over the past decade. He has been a columnist since 2005. Over the Prickett Fence is published weekly by In&Out Publications.

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