Oh #%@* Yes I Cuss

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Confession: I cuss. I’m not exactly proud of it, but I’m not ashamed, either. In fact, it comes in pretty #%@*-#% handy right now. 

Swearing was taboo in my strict Catholic upbringing, and I’m not just talking about the “Big-7.” I remember getting a whack from Aunt Mamie, right on the front porch, because she heard me say “toilet water.” I was only 5, but even then, I thought to myself, “What the #%@* is wrong with saying toilet water?” 

I picked up the basics in elementary school, and took in some very helpful lectures when visiting other strict Catholic homes. There was a time I could say #%@* in Italian, German, Gaelic, and Portuguese. Learning compound cusses and proper adjective use was a bit more difficult, but I have my childhood football coaches to thank for squiring me through this difficult course. “What the #%@*ity #%@*-#%@*???” remains a classic to this day.

My undergraduate degree came courtesy of the U.S. Navy. They say the game moves faster in the pros, and I can attest to that. Stepping off the bus at boot camp was like lacing up against the ’92 Dream Team. I never dared to imagine that an entire sentence, heck, an entire paragraph could be constructed of only cuss words paired with the word “recruit.” I was both terrified and inspired. 

It was then that my highly successful, but unfortunately short-lived “dirty-drilling-ditty” period began. Everybody’s a critic, including the base commander, as it turned out. With a last name like “Stucky,” he should have seen it coming.

I chose the construction industry to pursue my Ph.D., and my thesis was entitled “What the #%@*? The Unanswerable Question.” 

Upon completing my doctorate, I entered the field of residential remodeling. In my previous studies I learned that not only is this the second most popular field for the world’s top cussers, (celebrity assistant is No. 1, but the pay sucks) but there is a never-ending need for top-tier expletive executives. And you get to be outdoors.

Many people consider swearing to be the tools of the ignorant. But I, and science, disagree. 

A 2017 Marist College study found that potty-mouths consistently scored higher on verbal fluency tests than their “okily-dokily” counterparts. Swearing has also been found to reduce anxiety, something we’ve all got plenty of these days. Now what the #%@* do you think of that?


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Adult & Pediatric Allergy Associates • 602-242-4592
Anthem Senior Living • 602-909-9550
Appliance Pros • 502-501-5501
Business Network of Anthem • 623-455-9630
Carroll Law Firm • 623-551-9366
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Creative Home Enhancements • 623-551-5409
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Kodiak Roofing • 602-501-7717
Luv My PC • 480-703-6609
Merrill Gardens • 623-201-4881
North Valley Water Solutions • 623-551-0515
Preferred Business of Anthem • 623-551-0523 
Prickett Realty • 623-551-8111
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RE/MAX Professionals - Mike Higgins • 623-640-7502
Rise Above Remodeling • 623-551-2013
Soft Water Plus • 623-551-7383
SonoranScapes Landscaping • 602-842-9948
State Farm Insurance - Justin Simons • 623-551-3700
Storage at Anthem • 623-226-8634
Sunset Cabinets • 623-687-6579
Thompson & McGinnis Attorneys at Law • 602-952-2666
Titan Tree Care • 623-444-8448
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Wyman Plumbing & Mechanical • 623-551-6688

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Chris Prickett
Former contractor, former home inspector and funny guy, Chris Prickett is owner and designated broker of Prickett Realty. A New Jersey native, Prickett has been a top-producing REALTOR® in North Phoenix over the past decade. He has been a columnist since 2005. Over the Prickett Fence is published weekly by In&Out Publications.
Chris Prickett on Email

Chris Prickett

Former contractor, former home inspector and funny guy, Chris Prickett is owner and designated broker of Prickett Realty. A New Jersey native, Prickett has been a top-producing REALTOR® in North Phoenix over the past decade. He has been a columnist since 2005. Over the Prickett Fence is published weekly by In&Out Publications.

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