The Downsides of My Unbucket List

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I don’t have a bucket list for no reason other than I think it’s silly and it takes planning, which I don’t like to do. I do, however, have an “unbucket list.” These are things I’ve lived through that I don’t recommend trying. While it may be true that what does not kill us makes us stronger, it also has a tendency to leave a mark.

Electrocution The moral here is to never trust anyone else to shut off power to equipment before you start working on it, even if the shutter-off-er is your friend and a licensed electrician. A jolt of 220 volts through the armpit will change your day, no doubt about it. I lost a bit of my soul that day, along with most of my armpit hairs.

Jumping off a moving vehicle There was this old handyman when I was a kid. He drove a work van. We stupid 10-year-olds thought it would be cool to jump on his back bumper and hitch a ride. After a few minutes, I got a little scared. The van was heading to a busy street and I had to formulate a plan. My inaccurate understanding of physics led me to believe that if I jumped high enough, I’d counter any momentum generated by the speed of the truck. Wrong answer.

Amateur boat repair One rotted wooden rowboat + one 5-gallon bucket of tar + the Delaware River = nothing good. The boat and tar were provided by a sweet (or diabolical?) old lady who lived on the river, in exchange for some yard work. To summarize, after the boat sank and we unsuccessfully tried to swim to shore, divine providence provided a sand bar and we were rescued by the old lady’s neighbor. My cynical brain suspects she may have called him prior to our launch and said, “Watch this!”

So, if you want to get to that silly bucket list, don’t be like Prickett.

Chris Prickett
Former contractor, former home inspector and funny guy, Chris Prickett is owner and designated broker of Prickett Realty. A New Jersey native, Prickett has been a top-producing REALTOR® in North Phoenix over the past decade. He has been a columnist since 2005. Over the Prickett Fence is published weekly by In&Out Publications.

Chris Prickett

Former contractor, former home inspector and funny guy, Chris Prickett is owner and designated broker of Prickett Realty. A New Jersey native, Prickett has been a top-producing REALTOR® in North Phoenix over the past decade. He has been a columnist since 2005. Over the Prickett Fence is published weekly by In&Out Publications.

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