Here I go again, sounding like an old coot, but whatever happened to good ol’ delayed gratification? It seems anything worth waiting for is not worth waiting for anymore.
Remember when you had to wait a week for the next episode of “Falcon Crest” or “Laverne & Shirley” to come on the tube? There was something about the wait that lent purpose to life (or at least a low one like mine in those days). Now you can watch six full seasons of your favorite show nonstop (pausing for bathroom breaks, of course, as I discovered).
You used to get your daily news at 6 and 11 p.m., and maybe a recap with the morning’s newspaper. Now, everything is brought to us in real-time via hundreds of social media, blog, and other so called “news sources.” The same stupid story is interpreted seven ways to Sunday, each with its own bent, depending on which political god the writer or media outlet worships. Everything is viral and little of it is really relevant.
Sushi used to be a special treat, now I can find it at most gas stations.
We don’t even wait for our nicotine fix anymore. When I smoked in high school, I had to sneak out between periods or risk getting busted by Mr. Barr for puffing in the boy’s room. Thanks to vaping, the thrill is gone.
New music is available almost as quickly as it’s recorded. No more lining up at the record store for Zeppelin or Pink Floyd’s latest offering. Keith Richards must be rolling over in his grave. Oh, wait…
Mail order? Overnight shipping, baby!
Remember when you had to go to the library to find out the capital of Sri Lanka? Now you can look it up while sitting on the potty, should you need that information at that moment.
And don’t get me started on the dearth of butter churns on front porches! I saw this coming right after instant oatmeal was introduced. Damn you, Quaker Oats.